"Stay low. Stay under the radar."

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What's different? Crib Notes.
thumbs up, turk
empressfunk wrote in the__alliance
I'm almost finished with the first chapter of the rewrite, and I figured once I'm done I'll post a preview of it up here. But before I do, I'll clue ya'll in to some of the changes between The Alliance and Anomalies, as it is now being called. (Unless I change my mind later on the road yet again, but let's hope not).

(I guess I should also preface this by saying some of the stuff listed here is kinda spoilerish, so if you'd rather be in the dark, you should maybe skip over this entry.)

  1. The Plot: First, there's no longer the "Sickness" plot. It was good for a while, but I felt like I was just stretching the whole thing, and I seemed to have trouble remembering to convey the idea that throughout the whole book, everyone was not on their top form. But how could anyone notice that when I never showed what their top form was in the first place? We're introduced to everyone as already "sick." Anyway. I did away with that plotline.
    • Instead, the new plot concerns my core Alliance group (the original eight, if you will: Cody, Eric, Jace, Jesse, Jordan, Karen, Michael and Vanessa) being "immune" to Hawks, or mutant/Anomaly trackers. Dr. Ravens will also become more of a substantial baddie, and I'll be introducing a new antagonist named Spencer, the Recruiter, who is the go-to mutant tracker and in charge of the Hawks.
    • There is also going to be a secondary plot that will tie in with the first about the origin of anomalies and The Original Seven, the first Anomalies ever created.
  2. The Relationships: Everything seems to be cyclical when I write this story when it comes to relationships. The very first draft, back in 2001, Jordan and Michael grew to be good friends--Jordan stayed in Michael's house, not Jesse's in this previous version--and Eric and Karen had hints of getting together (...and then I became obsessed with Eric/Jace, and that fell by the wayside). As I write this new (and final) draft, it seems to be leaning that way again. So, your cliff notes:
    • Jesse and Jordan are still an item, but not with the lovely past history of hating each other for a good few months. Guess I'll have to build up to that. ;)
    • Eric and Karen are an established couple, which I'm sure seems weird and out of nowhere, but it'll make sense. I hope. It'll also help me flesh out Karen's character a little more, as I think she's always been my weakest character. I feel like if I go back to this idea, it'll help a lot (considering in my old story I had a thing about the two of them connecting on a sort of ~psychic~ mind-reading level that I thought was cool). Eric/Jace fans, don't worry--they're dynamic won't change. Their relationship (platonic or otherwise), is one of the most important ones in the book.
    • Michael and Jordan (lol) seem to be starting with an uneasy friendship based mostly out of necessity in Jordan's case, which I think works. Vanessa and Jordan might also have some tension, but I've always hated love-triangles, so I don't know for sure, especially when it's established that Jesse/Jordan are the OTP of this series.
  3. The Length: I think I'm shooting for a trilogy.
    • Book 1 will be called "The Alliance" and concern their formation.
    • Book 2 will be called "TerraLuna"  and will explore the facility and the Alliance seeking it out (by this point, seeking protection for Jordan and Blaze, maybe) along with other MELs. At this point, they're much deeper into the Anomaly community.
    • Book 3 will be the big showdown, which I don't have a title for yet, but will be concerned with either 1) Anomalies going public, 2) Dr. Ravens finding it his personal mission to bring down Falcon/Passerini/TerraLuna because of their interference in his research, 3) The discovery of the Original Seven--the first Seven mutants created--and/or 4) The remaining Fifteen finally getting revenge on Huxley Labs, which brings me to my last point:
  4. The Fifteen: Kinda dropped the ball a little in the last draft, but this time, I've got more planned out. Jordan's definitely on the run from the Retrievers, and the stakes are higher because out of the Fifteen, only four are still alive. In 1998, they were systematically "terminated" after "Project 15" was declared a failure, and while nine escaped, five were recaptured between 1999 and the start of the story and killed. Jordan is one of four still on the run, which means as of the start of the story, there are still three others of the Fifteen (George, Juliet, and Kilo), still out there.
Okay, I think that's about all the major changes. Like I said, when I finish the first chapter, I'll post a preview, but otherwise, I'm thinking I should try to restrain myself from putting up too much if I'm seriously thinking about getting this published. I'm not sure...Anyway. Yeah.

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*walks in* Hey, you'll never guess what I saw when I walked into Jessie's ro- oh, awesome! *distracted* I like the changes! It seems more full on story to me, more completed.

I liked the cover/book sleeve thinger too, and the title. The Anomalies. OOooOOooOOoo~ *insert freaky hand motions here*

And the story comments continue.

Heh, thanks. I'm hoping I can just stay on track and get done what I said I want to get done.

Awesomeness. I love the story now but I get the feeling this new version of it is going to blow my mind! :D

YUSS! i really liked the sickness plot line but i am glad for an actually physical protagonist :D
AND DOUBLE YUSS THE FIFTEEN! yeah the whole realations section kinda surprised me...didn't see those coming back. but i like 'em :D

Thank you. Yeah, I kept feeling that not having a discernible villain was really hindering my story. And the lack of the Fifteen.

I'm glad that Karen will be more involved in the story. Now that you mention it, I see that she didn't play a major role. Good luck with the rewrite. It'll be great!

*is TasteForInsanity*

Oh, my. The changes are indeed huge. So unfamiliar. Eric and Karen. O_o
*giggled at "Michael and Jordan"*
Certainly looking forward to this!

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