the__alliance

Well, after that poll on dA I think it's probably best for me not to post my whole story online, just in case, but I don't think there's anything wrong with posting excerpts from a still rough draft. So, here's a little bit from flashback of Jordan and Hill's time at the lab, right before their escape.

(Over-abuse of the word "had," what's up?)

           

( Jordan liked Hill; he liked him much more than his previous researcher who’d the warmth of the cold, metal instruments that he used. But something about that day, about the very mood in the air, made Jordan reject his usual routine.Collapse )

Hey, who wants a (completely rough) excerpt from Chapter 11? It's about preening. :3

 

( Itchy wings blow.Collapse )

 

What is says on the tin. Behind the cut, for minor spoilers.


( Click here!Collapse )

Changed up the journal layout--I guess since I don't have a paid account, I can't customize my journal like I did last time like editing my header or putting my pictures in the background, so I choose this funky one instead. Seems a bit more industrial (the style's called "cardboard," even) I just wish it was more streamlines. Ah, well.

I'm puttering along on my story, trying to hammer out the kinks and whatnot as I approach the midway point. And because I'm at the midway point, I'm realizing that I really need beta readers to make sure my story seems like it's making sense and heading towards a logical conclusion, rather than a whole bunch of events happening in succession just to have something to fill the pages, like the first (okay, technically second) version.

I'll be posting the chapters here in hopes of getting some feedback/critique/beta-ing/what-have-you. I'd also like to do more with this community so it just doesn't sit here, forgotten, like so many others I've started up on a whim. Maybe I'll make some "Which Character Are You?" quizzes or something equally ridiculous. Contests? I dunno.

I'm almost finished with the first chapter of the rewrite, and I figured once I'm done I'll post a preview of it up here. But before I do, I'll clue ya'll in to some of the changes between The Alliance and Anomalies, as it is now being called. (Unless I change my mind later on the road yet again, but let's hope not).

(I guess I should also preface this by saying some of the stuff listed here is kinda spoilerish, so if you'd rather be in the dark, you should maybe skip over this entry.)

1. The Plot: First, there's no longer the "Sickness" plot. It was good for a while, but I felt like I was just stretching the whole thing, and I seemed to have trouble remembering to convey the idea that throughout the whole book, everyone was not on their top form. But how could anyone notice that when I never showed what their top form was in the first place? We're introduced to everyone as already "sick." Anyway. I did away with that plotline.
   • Instead, the new plot concerns my core Alliance group (the original eight, if you will: Cody, Eric, Jace, Jesse, Jordan, Karen, Michael and Vanessa) being "immune" to Hawks, or mutant/Anomaly trackers. Dr. Ravens will also become more of a substantial baddie, and I'll be introducing a new antagonist named Spencer, the Recruiter, who is the go-to mutant tracker and in charge of the Hawks.
   • There is also going to be a secondary plot that will tie in with the first about the origin of anomalies and The Original Seven, the first Anomalies ever created.
2. The Relationships: Everything seems to be cyclical when I write this story when it comes to relationships. The very first draft, back in 2001, Jordan and Michael grew to be good friends--Jordan stayed in Michael's house, not Jesse's in this previous version--and Eric and Karen had hints of getting together (...and then I became obsessed with Eric/Jace, and that fell by the wayside). As I write this new (and final) draft, it seems to be leaning that way again. So, your cliff notes:
   • Jesse and Jordan are still an item, but not with the lovely past history of hating each other for a good few months. Guess I'll have to build up to that. ;)
   • Eric and Karen are an established couple, which I'm sure seems weird and out of nowhere, but it'll make sense. I hope. It'll also help me flesh out Karen's character a little more, as I think she's always been my weakest character. I feel like if I go back to this idea, it'll help a lot (considering in my old story I had a thing about the two of them connecting on a sort of ~psychic~ mind-reading level that I thought was cool). Eric/Jace fans, don't worry--they're dynamic won't change. Their relationship (platonic or otherwise), is one of the most important ones in the book.
   • Michael and Jordan (lol) seem to be starting with an uneasy friendship based mostly out of necessity in Jordan's case, which I think works. Vanessa and Jordan might also have some tension, but I've always hated love-triangles, so I don't know for sure, especially when it's established that Jesse/Jordan are the OTP of this series.
3. The Length: I think I'm shooting for a trilogy.
   • Book 1 will be called "The Alliance" and concern their formation.
   • Book 2 will be called "TerraLuna"  and will explore the facility and the Alliance seeking it out (by this point, seeking protection for Jordan and Blaze, maybe) along with other MELs. At this point, they're much deeper into the Anomaly community.
   • Book 3 will be the big showdown, which I don't have a title for yet, but will be concerned with either 1) Anomalies going public, 2) Dr. Ravens finding it his personal mission to bring down Falcon/Passerini/TerraLuna because of their interference in his research, 3) The discovery of the Original Seven--the first Seven mutants created--and/or 4) The remaining Fifteen finally getting revenge on Huxley Labs, which brings me to my last point:
4. The Fifteen: Kinda dropped the ball a little in the last draft, but this time, I've got more planned out. Jordan's definitely on the run from the Retrievers, and the stakes are higher because out of the Fifteen, only four are still alive. In 1998, they were systematically "terminated" after "Project 15" was declared a failure, and while nine escaped, five were recaptured between 1999 and the start of the story and killed. Jordan is one of four still on the run, which means as of the start of the story, there are still three others of the Fifteen (George, Juliet, and Kilo), still out there.

Okay, I think that's about all the major changes. Like I said, when I finish the first chapter, I'll post a preview, but otherwise, I'm thinking I should try to restrain myself from putting up too much if I'm seriously thinking about getting this published. I'm not sure...Anyway. Yeah.

Okay, so I'm currently obsessed with the Olympics right now, and I went and found this ficlet/in-character-journal back in 2004 during the Athens game about Cody watching swimming with Jesse. I thought it was topical, so I'd thought I'd share.